


this is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore

by girlsinthestars



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsinthestars/pseuds/girlsinthestars
Summary: 'This is the last time I'm asking you thisPut my name at the top of your listThis is the last time I'm asking you whyYou break my heart in the blink of an eye'Short and sweet one shot of them finally making up, inspired by the last time by Taylor Swift.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	this is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore

Alex could picture Michael right now, sitting on the sofa in his trailer, fiddling with something, some mechanical part Sanders had thrown out. He would look up at Alex and smile, say he loved him and it would be okay. He would hold Alex tighter than he ever had, promise that they wouldn’t fight, that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he was going to do better, be better this time. He would say he forgives Alex, say it was all in the past and he understood why Alex had done it. Alex would tell him how much he loved him, how important he was, how no one could ever compare. 

Though, Alex thought, Michael throwing him out and slamming the door in his face was probably more likely.

Alex could hardly believe he was doing this, maybe for real this time. He kicked the ground in front of him and considered turning around and leaving. Not that he could. There was no way Michael didn’t know he was there, the trailer was hardly soundproof and Michael had always been good at picking out cars by just the sound of the engine. So now it was a game of chicken. Would Alex pull himself together enough to knock on the door? Would Michael get sick of waiting and throw the door open with an expression of frustration, inevitably betrayed by his scared puppy eyes? Or would Alex turn around and leave, praying Michael wouldn’t ask him about the incident another day?

It was none of the above, perhaps a sign that Alex should stop assuming he can predict what is going to happen by simply overthinking enough. Instead the door fell open in front of him, a clear signal from within that he was welcome. He took a breath before taking the invitation and tentatively making his way up the steps and into the trailer. Michael was leaning against the kitchen counter, staring studiously out the window opposite him.

“I wasn’t sure you were going to come in.”

“Neither was I.”

Michael didn’t have a response to that.

“I’m sorry.” Michael said, at last.

Alex sighed. “We’re both sorry, Michael, we’ve both made mistakes. I’m here because I want to forgive you.”

Michael finally looked at him, his eyes red and watery. “You know I’ve already forgiven you, ‘Lex, you don’t even need to ask.”

Alex shook his head, reaching for Michael’s hand before changing his mind. “That’s not true, you say that but you’ll still pull my leaving out as a weapon in arguments. I don’t want that for us. That’s not where I want us to be.”

“And I don’t want to feel like I can be dropped whenever something else comes up, Alex! I want you to put me higher on your priorities.”

“I never wanted you to feel that way, and I’m sorry. I want to do this right. This is the last time we have this conversation, Michael, I promise.”

“I don’t know how to feel like I deserve you.” Michael said it like a confession, making Alex’s heart ache to comfort him, but Michael needed to get this out. “You make me want to be better, you believe in me more than anyone in my entire life and I don’t know how to be that for you. Until I met you I thought I was superior, because I was an alien. You changed that. You showed me what humanity was, you are so endlessly  _ good _ , Alex, you don’t even know it.”

The look in Michael’s eyes made Alex falter, the sincerity caught him off guard, his stomach flipped and he reached for Michael. Michael’s hands met his half way, grasping at each other with the desperation of lovers who thought the other was dead.

“You don’t need to be better to deserve me. Michael, you are kind and brilliant and you have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. You love passionately and selflessly, and the idea of living without you, breaks me.

“Tell me no. Say no and I’ll leave and I won’t ask again. But I swear, Michael, this time is different, this is the last time I’m going to appear on your doorstep like this. I love you and that fact will never change, I want this, I want you.”

Alex felt like his heart was falling out of his chest. He had never been taught to wear his heart on his sleeve. Guarded emotions was a necessity turned habit and going against that training felt like peeling off his skin and praying his organs would stay intact. The discomfort crawled under his skin, making him desperate to take it all back. To hide in a dark room until no one remembered who he was. The urge to run felt so inherent, that the desire to fight it, and remain here to see this through, felt like a betrayal of his identity. Who was he if he wasn’t afraid, always looking over his shoulder and hiding at the first sign of trouble?

Michael’s hand found his cheek, the other twisting into Alex’s hair, tugging lightly, pulling him back to earth. Earth where Michael was cradling his face, looking at him with knowing eyes that saw his panic immediatly. Where Michael wasn’t judging him, wasn’t disgusted by him. Where Michael...

“Yes. The answer has always been yes Alex. I’m ready for this to work, I’m ready to love you the way you deserve.”

Alex took a shuddering breath, gripping Michael’s hand on his cheek to ground himself. 

“This is real.” He murmured to himself.

“As real as aliens.” Michael whispered in response, receiving a small, disbelieving giggle in reply.

“I love you.” The words felt like a weight off Alex’s chest, like a breath he had been holding in for far too long. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The words whispered back and forth like a secret just for them. The mingling of their breath as their foreheads rested against each other, making up for a decade of missed ‘I love you’s. 

**Author's Note:**

> Me, tossing mediocre, completely unedited content into the void: pls may I have a crumb of validation
> 
> Nanowrimo is kicking my ass but apparently I have enough creativity left to write a short and shitty one shot at midnight after getting home from work so whatdya know.
> 
> Thanks for reading, comments make my day :))
> 
> Find me on tumblr @girlsinthestars


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